THE TECHNICALITY OF LEAVING AND CLEAVING IN MARRIAGE – Part 2

Written By Ayodele Adeoye

The role of parents in obedience to this divine instruction is heart breaking these days. Most parents hold tight to their children and refuse them to cleave to their spouse. Cleaving becomes difficult because there is psychological holding from both the man and the woman from their parents. Wicked parents give orders to their children against their spouse for selfish interests. Indecisive children still go back to their parents to indirectly run their home for them. This is against the will of God. A Yoruba adage says “If you dash me a goat, you ought not to hold tightly to the rope on its neck.”

Married men and women nowadays want to still do what they were doing as singles. This is not possible because God expects us to face our spouses hence he commanded us to leave our parents for our spouse.

People who want to stick to their parents all their lives need not marry if leaving will be a problem. How to relate with parents after marriage is a decision and agreement by both parties. Married men/women who send money to their parents secretly without the consent and approval of their spouse are cheats and marital saboteurs. A mature married man who wants to send money to his parents sends it through his wife, vice versa. Anything you do in marriage without the knowledge of your spouse is cheating; anything you do without the consent of your spouse is call marital sabotage.

Leaving your parents does not mean abandonment or total desertion but relative separation that will enable you cleave to your spouse. Even the spiritual marriage between us and Christ requires leaving and cleaving. 
Luke 14:33 So likewise, whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he hath, he cannot be my disciple.

Matthew 10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Those who love their parents more than their spouses cannot understand God’s love and adoption. Those who prefer their parents above their spouses are babies and see marriage as a burden rather than a blessing. It is a misplaced priority to love your parents than your spouse or give attention to your parents than your spouse.

The biblical duties of children towards their parents are to honour them, obey them and listen to their counsel. All these must be adhered to 100% while they are still children and under their parents; not when they are adults and independent. 
The duties of a married couple towards each other are enormous compared to that of parents. Why is this so? This is because parent/children relationship is relatively temporal while the husband/wife relationship is absolutely permanent until death separates them. 
What differentiates boys from men is that boys listen to their mothers, while men listen to their wives. The difference between a girl and a woman is that a girl listens to her father, while a woman listens to her husband. A woman said that her son must obey her against his wife because he sucked her breast for one year; the wife replied the woman, “he has been sucking my breast for the past five years and is still sucking. The woman argued further; but I carried him in my womb for nine months. The wife replied her again, but I have been carrying him for on my chest for five years. She also said “you carried him as a baby, I am carrying him as an adult. The argument continued until it was obvious the wife owns the man than his mother.
We must bury our traditions and cultures and allow the word of God to prevail in our marriages. God is the author of marriage and his manual is the best for running an ideal home not traditions and cultures.
Leaving and cleaving is the key to a successful marriage journey.
Peaceful Home is Our Concern.

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