Written By Ayodele Adeoye
The most difficult aspects of a God ordained marriage is balancing love and submission. The challenges in marriages these days are due to partial submission by women and conditional love by the men. Why do we have these challenges in our days? The answers are not far fetched; we have more Christians who did not die at calvary but only fainted. Men and women who speak in tongues but are not broken. Men and women who prophesy but are not regenerated. Men who do not love God and women who do not submit to God.
Any woman who is not in total submission to her husband in everything is a marital liability. Any man who does not love his wife unconditionally is a spiritual miscarriage. Women who can submit to God and their pastor but cannot submit to her husband are hypocrites. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Men who love other persons above their wives are marital idolaters. Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

It’s unfortunate that the divine arrangement of marriage is not so favourable to the woman but that is not intended to make the woman a lesser personality.

Any man who desires submission must give out unreserved love to his wife. Likewise, any woman who wants to be loved must be willing to submit in totality. Submission is not slavery neither is it servanthood. It entails that the man should take the lead in the affairs of the home. The man is not a boss, a bully, a ruler, a dictator, a tyrant, a terror or a commando. A man who loves his wife like Jesus does to the church will never subject his wife to slavery and degradation.
He wants a woman who will willingly follow the man, while he takes the lead regardless of his age, financial status, stature and position.

A woman who will obey her husband like she obeys God.

A woman who will support her husband to succeed and actualize his God given dream;

Not a woman who will pursue her personal vision at the detriment of the common goal of the family.

God wants a woman who will bury her own personal goals in her husband’s vision.

A woman who will treat her husband like God and King (Serah called and treated Abraham as Lord)

Any woman who argues and insists on her idea and opinion is not submissive. Any woman whose husband cannot successfully correct or rebuke is not submissive. There are times the woman may be richer, wiser, older, more educated etc, that does not make her assume the place of leadership. A completely submissive woman therefore is the one who willingly submits her body, money, interest, intellect, beauty, properties, positions, fame, achievements etc at the feet of her husband.
A man who cares for his wife.

A man who understands with his wife.

A man who builds and encourages his wife to succeed.

A man who makes a Queen out of his wife.

A man who provides for his wife.

A man who is kind to his wife.

A man who can forgive and overlook his wife’s excesses.

A man who is willing to give his life for his wife.

A man who will protect his wife physically, spiritually, mentally and financially.

Any man who truly loves his wife will surely earn her absolute submission. Real and loving men don’t make their wives submit by coercion. Any woman who totally submits to her husband will ultimately earn her husband’s love. Virtuous women don’t manipulate or insist on their husband’s love, they earn it by their good character imbedded in submission.

If you want submission, love.

If you want love, submit.‚Äč